Hills Valley Town News

Local Election A Real Thumper

Schumacher and Billingsworth face off for Office of Distribution

By Roger Kranzden, Political Reporter

When Niles Nillsman died at the rip age of 84 leaving the post of Office of Distribution available for the taking, not a sole in Hills Valley suspected the young and popular David Billingsworth would have any contention when he announced his bid to run for the position. But when late to the race candidate Biddy Schumacher tossed her well intentioned hat in the ring, the citizens of Hills Valley were in utter awe.

It is safe to say that David Billingsworth is favored to win. He’s held numerous offices within the town government his entire adult life. Hills Valley residents will recall when, at the age of 16, David painted the first fence ever to be erected around Town Hall. The Mayor thought he showed immense initiative and when David became of age, was hired as the Mayor’s personal aid. Billingsworth has been moving up the political latter ever since.

Little is known about Schumacher’s desire to fill the post. She has never held office in Hills Valley, nor has she ever contributed greatly to the town at large. She can be seen attending rummage sales and charity fairs conducted by the numerous religious organizations Hills Valley is proud of. But aside from quietly working away at her job at Hills Valley Power, Water and Paper, the town’s largest employer, Biddy’s ambitions for anything more were never shown. She is, we may add, the daughter of Fladora Schumacher, who was a prominent citizen of Hills Valley and a great contributor financially to the town. While there is resounding affection for Fladora, will it be enough to get her daughter elected to Office of Distribution?

“She has moral standing,” said Father O’Malley, head of Our Lord and Savior, Catholic Church. “A dedicated parishioner for years. Very in touch with her religion.”

When Billingsworth was asked about his own moral standing, he had this to say: “Religion and Politics have no business going to the dance together. My track record in local government speaks for itself. I have served the people of Hills Valley well, and I will continue to serve the people after they elect me to Office of Distribution.” It may be important to note that David Billingsworth is a Lutheran.

When we reached out to the other candidate for comment on the issues, what we received was very interesting. “God wants me to run for Office of Distribution. If He did not, I would not have found the note I made to myself to run.”

Elections will be held this coming Tuesday at Town Hall per usual. The outcome of this vote should prove most interesting.